“Time to Panic”
I know they want to sell magazines and that headline did succeed in making me click on the article, but one could really make the argument that in the RSS / FeedBurner / Headline only society there is a social responsibility not to make such outlandish statements. “If people are stupid enough to fall for such a statement, then that’s their fault,” I might say, but the truth is I’m getting tired of getting screwed by sophomoric investors making unwise decisions in the market.
Perhaps CNNMoney should write an article about what investors should ACTUALLY do instead of nearly 2400 unhelpful words. If this were in the format of your standard essay it would come out to eight full pages of unhelpfulness. YAY!
Start by qualifying the sensational statement then explain why a contrarian article can teach a good lesson. Discuss what went wrong with a really strange analogy, and ignore the fact that most the readers who need an article telling them what to do now have given up on this rubbish. Support your really strange analogy with crap said reader does not care about. Get around to showing us the big, smart managers can’t do well noting only three funds have 10% returns this year, and the point of telling you dear reader is to prove that you haven’t heard of them. This shows us that even smart, experienced people can’t do well in this market. Um… Why am I reading this again? Oh wait, 800 words in we get our first awesome piece of wisdom, “Take some tax losses.” Wait, WHAT?
You know what I give up… Let’s try to write an actual article in what to do huh?